Saturday, March 22, 2014

My Derma Wand Review - Warts and All (mostly mine)

I am very easily influenced so perhaps watching infomercials before going to sleep wasn't the best idea. I still remember the first infomercial I ever saw. It was a flower preserver and after half an hour of watching, I wanted that flower preserver more than anything in the world. Sadly I didn't have a credit card back then...or should I say, "thankfully". On reflection, I am the first to admit that the "flower preserver" was nothing more than a box of sand. So...I was understandably skeptical when I saw the infomercial for the Derma Wand. If I was 23 I would have ignored it completely but I've got a number of decades tucked under my belt now. I have children older than 23. I would tell you my age, but let's just say...I'm 23 plus tax. A LOT of tax.

Well these days I do have a carefully managed credit card - I am a grown up after all. So I did it. And, just in case anyone looking at this might be tempted, I figured you might like an honest opinion from someone who paid the big bucks without being paid any bucks at all.

So, here I am 6 weeks ago:
I never noticed before, but my face is not at all symmetrical and my right eye is actually lower than my left. Is this normal? Am I mutated? As far as wrinkles go I have a few, which is probably quite reasonable for a person "around my age". One thing that has always been a pain is the occasional blemish that appears and does nothing but look mean and angry. In my photo (and I really hate pointing this out!), I actually have two on my chin that had stuck around for well over a week before the photo was taken, trying to make me look poxy.

And six weeks later:
IT TURNED MY HAIR PINK!!! Nah, just joshing. I did that. I'm always changing my hair colour, just because I can. I refuse to lay down and be old and boring. Old maybe, but never boring. Anyway, there isn't a miracle face lift and I think my right eye is still a bit lower, BUT...
My skin does feel more toned, some of the lines seem ever so slightly diminished and best of all, this baby zaps zits like a BOSS! I have cheated and put a little mascara on, but other than that, no makeup (I think I have mascara in the first pic too)

I think I'll do a pros and cons paragraph now:

CONS:
COST: This thing cost me just over $200 NZ. That hurt! (I think that's around $100 US but I'm only guessing). The "$60 instructional DVD" and the "$30 purse" included for free is a bit of a crock but...I got a TWO FOR ONE special! So I've generously given one to my daughter. She's in her 20s so I'll have to watch she doesn't turn the clock back too far or she might turn into a foetus!

TIME: I'll be honest, this takes more than 3 minutes a day. I use it twice a day and it probably takes about 7 minutes each time (give or take a few secs).

NO SHORT CUTS: You still have to use moisturizer so you won't save on your regular skin care regime. You need the moisturizer to help the wand glide over your skin. Mind you, I've always used pretty cheap products so it's not really a biggie for me.

ALSO: Some people might not like the slight smell it emits, the noise it makes or the feel of it if you lift it slightly off your skin (it zaps a little). I don't mind any of this at all.

It's not going to work miracles! If you're 50, you're not likely to look like a 25 year old a couple of months later.

PROS:
SKIN TONE: My skin feels nice. I can feel that *something* is feeling right. Also, I think it has given my saggy eye a *very slight* lift.

WRINKLES: Just ever so slightly diminished. In my case I think it's helped around my mouth and under my eyes.

BLEMISHES: Now this is where I feel I'm getting my money's worth! If I feel one of those nasty zits approaching, I turn the dial up, follow the instructions on the DVD and, just for good measure, I give it a little extra zap by hovering the wand over it, just off the skin. I do that 3 or 4 times a day if I can. By the next day it goes all shy and embarrassed and is usually gone a couple of days later.

SHARE THE CARE: About once or twice a week I treat my bestie (and sometimes her husband!) to a zap session. It's just nice to be able to pamper someone with something a little different.

SPECIAL DEALS: Watch out for the Two for One deal.

AND NOW...for your entertainment (considering I'm not wearing any makeup in these extreme close up photos), and mostly for your perusal to make your own judgement, here are some more before and after photos:

Before:









6 Weeks Later:
Is it me or is my skin just a little less saggy six weeks later. 


 Before
6 Weeks

Oh gosh, I wish I'd plucked those stray hairs before I took these photos!








I also figured it might be interesting to try it on just one hand:
"Control" Hand
"Derma" Hand
So...my personal verdict is that I'm glad I bought it. I like using it. The price hurt but I did get two for that price. Oh, and just one final word of advice: it works better if you take the cap off before use. Just sayin'...


Monday, January 6, 2014

Epiphany

I've been watching a bit of "Star Trek Enterprise" recently (thanks to my son and daughter for the birthday gift). I've always been a bit of a Trekker. I even had a brief crush on De Forrest Kelly. While everyone else went weak for James T Kirk and his wooden style of speech, I was all a flutter for McCoy's "I'm a doctor Jim, not a bricklayer". And when he fixed Spock with that steely gaze and asked him if he was out of his Vulcan mind, my knees turned to jelly.

But I digress...
When I watched Star Trek as a kid I was flabbergasted by all the cool technology stuff (oops! My thoughts are straying back to Doctor McCoy and his salt and pepper shaker medical instruments). Oh yes, the techno stuff. The touch screen tablets and Skype convos that Jim used decades before they were invented.  That was mind blowing stuff. Then the yuppy bricks (aka mobile phones) came out in the 90s and I knew I'd arrived. I was living in the future - and that was 20 years ago!

So the other night I was watching "Enterprise" and realized that much of their cool toys are quite normal by today's standards. That's when I had my Epiphany. I might not have moved as quickly as Marty McFly and admittedly it has taken me 51 years to get here but (are you ready for this?) I AM A TIME TRAVELER! 

And to think that I get car sick driving to the next suburb.

And here's another thought that might just make your head implode. I mentioned this to our boarder, Miss Giggles and she told me that, according to my logic, EVERYBODY is a time traveler!


Now if I could just work out how to go back a week and take this weeks Lotto numbers with me this could really be useful.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

When stuff looks like other stuff


I rather like the word "doppelganger". Actually, I discovered the word "proclivity" last night and just can't wait to slip that one into conversation in the very near future. So if I'm engaged in conversation with you anytime soon, listen out for it.

But I digress. Doppelganger threw me at first. Mostly because I didn't know how to spell it, and also because I had no idea what it meant. "Doppelganger" popped up on Facebook a few times and, just to show that I got it, I like the post anyway. Eventually I turned to Mr Google for help and he explained that a doppelganger is "a ghostly double of a living person that haunts its living counterpart." To be honest, I only found out the ghostly bit today because that's when "eventually" turned out to be. All this time I'd been under the impression that a doppelganger is a lookalike so for the sake of this post, I'll stick with that.

Okay, this is cool, I've just said "doppelganger" 6 times so far in this post. I wonder how many times I can slip "proclivity" into conversation tomorrow. Anyway, back to the doppelganger (that's 7!), I wonder if I have one out there somewhere?

On a similar vein, I often find myself gazing at things that look like other things. Happens all the time. Here are some examples:
Above is some bird poop that mysteriously landed on the windscreen of my car (see previous blog: http://quirkyisokay.blogspot.co.nz/2011/09/really-crappy-post.html for further details). I can clearly make out three faces. The middle face (an ancient Mayan) doesn't look too friendly (or perhaps he's unwell, but wouldn't you be if you'd just come out of a sparrow's butt?) but the face on the right is quite obviously Chewbacca from Star Wars.

Here's a picture of the For Sale sign outside my friend's house:
See the puppy? Over there on the right? It's unmistakable really considering that he takes up half of the sign. He has two big eyes and his mouth is open because he's happy to see me..

Ooooh, I nearly forgot this one! This was taken in a seedy motel in Matakana. Check out the bottom right corner of the top left blue tile:
It's ALICE COOPER!!! (or maybe Ozzie Osbourne with a bat in his mouth. Without his glasses)

Meanwhile, in other news...
I've had younger fosties lately and made the decision to "retire" from my job as a teacher aide at the local high school (stop laughing Smiley! Congratulating me on my retirement in my leaving letter was a misprint I tell you. A MISPRINT!). I'll miss the laughs those kids gave me but at least I have this as a momento:
Pure gold!
Over time I got used to having teen fosties in the house but I think I'll be a pro with the littlies too. As long as I can work Facebook with my toes I know I'll be okay:
On Facebook Chat with R while feeding a baby. Look, no hands!








Sunday, July 29, 2012

The woman is always right...


...even if she's wrong, she's right. Always. So far my Beloved has only learned the basics of his training and has learned to say, "Yes Dear" whenever he seems uncertain of what should be said. It's a start but there's still a way to go. Sunday is church day. Beloved hasn't yet cottoned on to the idea that Sunday is not sleep in day. Sunday is the day that we have to be out of the front door in order to be somewhere at a certain time. He works hard during the week so I suppose a lie in wouldn't do him too much harm once in a while. What isn't good for his health however, is when he slips out the door, backs out the car and toots impatiently after I've been organizing kids and had to chase him out of the shower (I think he rather enjoyed that). Today I warned him in no uncertain terms that this would NOT be happening.

It happened.

So today was as good a time as any to teach this man a lesson in husbandly etiquette. As I made my way to the car I *politely* expressed my annoyance. The correct response should have been "Sorry Dear. You're right. It was very rude of me. I shan't let it happen again".
I NEED to get one of these for Beloved!
He laughed. That was his mistake.

"I am NOT getting in this car with YOU. I would rather WALK!" There. That should show him I mean business. NOW he would tell me he was sorry and start grovelling for me to get in the car so we could get to church on time.

He laughed again. Oh crap. Now I have to start walking.
Husbands are very much like children. One must carry through with a threat for them to be properly trained. So I started walking.
 Any minuted now he's going to pull up beside me and BEG me to get in the car.
Sure enough, Beloved stopped the car..."Get in!"
 What? That's not begging. That's a command!  So I thrust my double A chest out, threw my nose in the air and waved him on. HE DROVE OFF!!!

So Plan A had fallen to pieces. Fortunately, since Church is a 4.5km walk uphill, I had a Plan B. My friend R lives just around the corner and she's always late for church...except for today.

Plan C: Start walking. This is when I became immensely grateful that I was wearing my Chuck Taylors - only the coolest shoes ever.

Plan C had a hitch. The main route and the church are separated by a motorway. There is a bridge crossing the motorway...and I am scared of heights.
 I spent a good 40 minutes psyching myself up but when I saw it my fears took over. To be fair, this was NOT part of Plan A or Plan B. I crossed the road. I crossed the road again. I started to cry. I texted R to subtly let her know where I was. Knowing my phobia, she kindly offered to come and get me. Of course I assumed (wrongly) she'd read between the lines when I replied "No".

So I was stuck at the bridge, too scared to cross. I contemplated turning back and actually said out loud: "Well, I guess only God can rescue me now". And then...God reminded me that He likes me. I have lived in Rewa for 25 years and never knew that there was a walkway under the bridge (probably because it was only built two years ago). I don't have an actual photo of this walkway, but to me it looked something like this:
I'm pretty sure I heard the Hallelujah Chorus as I made my way along the golden path in the complete opposite direction to church (hey, it got me on the other side of that Bridge of Horror and I was able to get back onto the right street eventually).

I got to church. I was a little (a LOT) late. I was tired. My feet hurt. But I still had the last word when I saw Beloved, "Well? Have you learned your lesson?"

He laughed. I didn't.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Feel my butt

Not the best title I could have come up with for this post but this is what I finished up saying to anyone and everyone after I'd been to Denny's on Thursday night. It was not my fault that I wet my pants. I blame Coronation Street.


My weekly treat is to indulge in an ice cream sundae with my friend R. We normally have our girlie night on a Wednesday but this week we had to reschedule to Thursday - Corrie night. Usually, we both have strawberry flavoured sauce but on this occasion, I demanded chocolate. I'd just had words with my Beloved and I wasn't in the best of moods.  Can you believe that his final parting shot to me as I stormed out the door was, "What exactly IS a neanderthal?" I rest my case! R's beloved didn't benefit from my mood when I swung by to grab his wife either. His fault for having testosterone probably but I'm sure I can make it up to him at some point without actually having to actually admit that I was at fault for chewing his ears off.

Anyway, it was Thursday and I was sacrificing television history for a chocolate flavoured ice cream sundae. Being more than 18 months behind in NZ, we are only just up to the 50th anniversary tram crash (Street fans will understand the significance of this).

Anyway, I'm at Denny's with R and Corrie comes on their telly. Of course there's no sound or even subtitles, but that didn't stop me from being completely distracted from everything that was going on around me. I didn't even notice that R was sniggering and snapping pics of me staring at the screen behind her, completely missing my gaping mouth with my spoon. And no, you will not be seeing those pics here! Instead, here is a picture of a cute baby with slightly less ice cream smooshed into her face:

I thought I was doing rather well myself, being very discreet and making the right noises to what I thought was conversation. I'd barely noticed the nice young waiter bringing us full glasses of water. Suddenly, Fiz Stape flashed up on the screen in full birthing mode. Now, I've had four kids and can relate to this:
And THAT is how my drink went flying across the table, splashing nearby patrons before landing on the seat beside me. And yet somehow not a skerrick of the wet stuff went anywhere near my snap happy friend. I didn't want to make a scene (really??) so I sat frozen to my vinyl seat. Actually, the water had somehow travelled across, seeped under my butt and I was now STUCK to to my seat. Who knew that water had a sense of direction? Defying all the laws of gravity it began to work it's way from under my butt and up towards the front of my legs. It was all very dodgy- but probably not as questionable as a middle-aged woman holed up in the Ladies Room with her butt firmly positioned to catch the airflow of the hand dryer. I really should have remembered to close the door.
It didn't dry my butt OR give me any of the bacon promised in the second picture!

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Just in case you're wondering...

...I still can't ride my unicycle. Unlike the one in the picture up there, mine is red. And it doesn't have training wheels. And it hurts me in places that a girl shouldn't get hurt. I had big plans to ride my unicycle while wearing my liquorice allsorts costume and making balloon animals. So far, I can do one out of three of those things, but the balloon animals are coming along nicely. I can make a poodle and a ladybug. And anything that doesn't turn out becomes a worm. I can make lots of balloon worms.
You know what would be really cool? Juggling knives, making balloon animals whilst wearing a liquorice allsorts costume and riding a unicycle.
No balloon animals. No costume. Just...no!
(ummm...is that guy up there wearing padding? Seems like a sensible idea...)
Too ambitious? Perhaps you're right. Baby steps. I'll start with my Elvis costume.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

The day I sat in the van with a Tip Top Choc Bar on my butt

As usual, there is a perfectly logical explanation as to why my Tuesday ended up with me sitting in the Warehouse car park with a an ice cream down the back of my pants, hoping desperately that it wouldn't melt before I could eat it.  I had just come from my first ever unicycle lesson at the Manukau Unicycle Club.

It was never intentional for me to learn how to ride a unicycle. It wasn't exactly sitting on my Bucket List, waiting to be ticked off before I shuffle out of my mortal coil. It started with Christmas shopping...in January. I like to be well prepared. More to the point, I like to check out the internet Daily Deals in Auckland. I say it's Christmas shopping but that doesn't really account for all the makeup and accessories that are now living in my drawers. So..."nek minnit" (Sorry, NZ joke)...a courier had delivered a flimsy red unicycle to my front door.

I looked at it for a bit. Tried to jump on it and realised that the ground has an obsession for my bottom and can move very quickly indeed. Then my friend from church invited me to the club. She's the last person I would have imagined on a unicycle so I was intrigued. After procrastinating for a few weeks, I finally made it to the club. I was encouraged to see small children whizzing around the Arena on pint sized unicycles. I mean, if kids can do it, "How hard can it be?"
It's hard! The ground is HARD! Beloved hadn't allowed me to leave the house without a crash helmet, which naturally I hid in the back of the van. Trust me, it wasn't my head that needed protecting!
Which brings me to why I ended up with ice cream down the back of my pants. I hold a current First Aid Certificate. I know what to do.

Am I going back next week. Yes! It's exercise and it's even more fun than that Zumba class I went to once.

Another friend from church is right into trail-biking. Here's an interesting concept:


If you're ever in Auckland on a Tuesday night and fancy giving it a go come along to:
Manukau One Wheelers: The club meets every Tuesday night. We have a hall from 5-7pm then we ride outside if the weather is good. 9 Lambie Drive, Manukau at the Manukau City Baptist Church. As you come in driveway go straight ahead to building labelled 'Arena'. Unicycles and friendly advice are provided.

Watch this space for further updates on my progress