Thursday, April 7, 2011

Under my Nubrella...ella...ella...

For many years I've lived my life as a tightwad. But this week I did something extremely rash and impulsive. I had what I call a "Trademe Moment" (Trademe being the New Zealand equivalent of E-bay). Actually it's not the first Trademe Moment I've had but it's certainly one of my more expensive ones.  It happened once before when I bid on a Ladyshave Barbie which turned out to be some 12 year old snot who had attacked his sister's Barbie doll with a vivid and glued some hair on her pits. I genuinely thought it was a limited edition collector's item. Boy, was I mistaken! I don't even want to think about where he got that hair from! Anyway, that only cost a dollar - which I thought was very reasonably priced for a possible future antique.

So anyway, I was browsing Trademe and came across a Nubrella. I've been searching for the perfect brollie for years. I went straight to the official website HERE and by the time I'd finished watching the video I wanted that contraption more than anything in this world! Okay, it was a little expensive by the time the exchange rate and postage kicked in but it would be an investment. The Nubrella is a HANDS FREE umbrella that never blows inside out! According to the video, if I have a Nubrella, I'll be able to: Ride a bike! Drive a tractor! Push a baby stroller! Talk on my cell phone! Pull a wheelie suitcase! Quite possibly all at the same time!

It arrived today - within 48 hours of ordering it. Impressive. I had told all my friends at work and on Facebook that I was getting it. They laughed hysterically, quite possibly because they were overcome with jealousy and weren't sure how to deal with their emotions.  One of the first people I showed it to was my Mum. I knew she'd appreciate a great invention when she saw one. Funny thing is, she became hysterical too. I would have thought an 84 year old woman would be able to control her emotions and I really didn't get what she was spluttering about Agent 86's Cone of Silence at all.

As luck would have it, there was a sprinkle of rain while I was visiting my mum. I was hoping for a downpour but a sprinkle would do for a test run while I went out to her front garden to steal feijoas from her tree. She lives on a main road too, so that would give the general public the opportunity to be exposed to something new and innovative.
In just one fluid movement...

Okay, maybe two fluid movements...
Okay, so maybe the website neglected to mention that this contraption may not be best suited to the extremely claustrophobic...but I got my breath back eventually. Note the nifty harness which enables the user to wear the Nubrella with HANDS FREE!  Fitting through the screen door took a bit of negotiation but it was worth it to hear the toots and shouts of joy from passers by when they saw this vision of modern technology step out in front of them.
Note the handy dandy feijoa picker-upper doofer* I borrowed off my mum.
I am using my HANDS (and a doofer) to pick up feijoas in the RAIN!
Mother load! And it's all thanks to my Nubrella!
Oh, there is one other fabulous thing about the Nubrella. Once the sun comes out and you finish using it, simply pack it away into this nifty not-so-little carry bag that can simply be slung over the shoulder.
Ummm...It seems that the inventor, Alan Kaufman has a sense of humour ;-p

* Doofer - a word borrowed from Burger Fuel that I learned from K over the weekend.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Mmmm...Can't talk...eating...

I fell completely and utterly in love last night. It was practically a spiritual experience because I could literally taste Heaven in my mouth. As a coeliac I've been restricted to a gluten free diet for almost 20 years so I'm immensely appreciative of all the gluten free goodies available these days, despite the exorbitant prices.  Last night my friend R treated me to a GF burger from "Burger Fuel". I love you Burger Fuel. More importantly I love your Bio Fuel. 
Disclaimer: Picture lifted blatantly off internet. Not my own artwork.

I had a look at the Menu and really wanted to order the Ba$tard, but I'm a good Christian girl and I was just too polite to say it.  I've been to BF once or twice before over the last few years as an extra special treat. Which makes a total of just three burgers over two decades so you can imagine the sheer joy this meal brought me. We ordered our takeaway burgers and were especially impressed when a staff member came across to double check the ingredients were safe for a potentially flatulent coeliac to consume. Chur Burger Fuel!
20 minutes later at the dinner table, R set out plates and cutlery. CUTLERY! She's English, need I say more? There was no way I was going to sully my hands with a fork - I wanted the full burger experience. So, after a bit of instruction from K (who had instead opted for a very healthy salad from her mum's fridge) on how to hold the thing, I was away. I hadn't realized I was meant to pick up a "doofer" - something else K needed to explain to me. But it's alright, she's a science teacher so is very good at explaining things to quirky middle-aged women with no clue what a doofer is. Oooh, that gluten free bun felt so RIGHT in my hands, even without a doofer.

OMG Burgers are AMAZING! As I worked my way through to the middle, all the ingredients joined hands and had a party in my mouth. I tasted the egg, the beetroot, the tomato...all at the same time!!! I was unable to hold any form of conversation as my eyes rolled back in my head and I fell deeper and deeper in love. It became so intense that I serenaded my food:
I think that I shall never see
A food as wonderful as thee
Your shape that fits to curve my hand't think of something to rhyme with "hand"...

Seriously, if it was legal to marry a gluten free hamburger, I'd do it! Not sure if Beloved would approve though.