Saturday, January 14, 2012

A free plug for Cadbury Dream and my pink flouro shorts

All my life I've been skinny. I've had knobbly knees, bony hips and a double A cup - until now. I still have knobbly knees but middle age has unkindly altered my body shape. Now I don't know about you, but I've never been one to commit to a regular work out. However, since I can now "pinch an inch" (and more!) I thought I should don my pink flouro shorts and give it a go.
Whose body IS this?
 It didn't last. Here's why:

I didn't know we even had a rowing machine but it's something Beloved came home with on one of his many outings to "collect junk and bring it home to clutter our environment". He got it for free apparently. As you can tell from the look on my face, I can see why.  So I moved onto the next piece of apparatus:

The elliptical trainer resides in Zeeb's bedroom. A dedicated regime has given her the body of a Greek goddess - like the one I used to have.  Something that I was unable to earn within 2 minutes of prolonged agony. I opted to explore other options.

 I thought hula hoops were meant to be easy. It's my 7 year old daughter's toy for goodness sake! Perhaps it was time to consider training without equipment. That's right, the dreaded...*foreboding music please*...SIT UPS!
Promising start...
Oh Have mercy! It hurts so much!
 I think that's enough exercise for one day, don't you? There's only so many scary photos I can subject you to in a single blog. So I decided to veg out and recover.  I was reclining in Beloved's chair watching "Maggie's Garden Show" when I had a hankering for some of that Cadbury Dream white chocolate that Beloved had stashed in his drawer. And that's when I DISCOVERED HOW TO DO A SIT UP WITHOUT HURTING MYSELF!!!! I am a GENIUS!

It's so EASY! The recliner chair actually does the sit ups FOR you! I should totally patent this! And do you know else I discovered? I can snack and watch telly and "work out" simultaneously!

Remember back in the day when the leotard-clad Jane Fonda did her own workout video? Well I think I might slap that smug self-satisfied smirk off her face and create my own "Easy Workouts For Lazy Middle-Aged Women Who Like To Wear Pink Flouro Shorts And Leg Warmers". Catchy title, eh? Watch out for it on You Tube!


  1. O my god. What happened to your body.

  2. You'd better watch it Beloved or I'll start calling you some other names ;-p

  3. Um Um Um.........Lost for words!!!!!