Can someone please tell me how to actually DO my job?

 It's been a long (and wet!) summer break here and I'm back to work on Tuesday. I love my job and I'm itching to get back to it. Being a Teacher Aide means that I don't work during school holidays and the advantage of this is the long lie-ins on a Monday morning. Some of the disadvantages are: I don't get paid, I miss having lunch at work (the reason I actually go to work), I miss my friends, I miss the school kids, and, did I mention that I don't get paid?

Actually, Smiley and I are in a bit of a panic. We've always been part of a trio. We've been a clique. Smiley, Ant and Ange. It's taken the three of us to go to the Ladies' loo together, it's taken the three of us to stand at the back of school assemblies and look sternly at any kid who tries to walk in with a bag on their back. Where one of us has been spotted, the other two haven't been far away. We've laughed, cried, partied and hugged together.

Then Ant broke the news to us - she was moving. Smiley and I were devastated for ourselves and excited for her. Part of me wanted to tie her to the chair in "OUR" office and part of me wanted to release her like a bird that needed to migrate to a warmer climate.  Is Keri Keri really any sunnier than South Auckland?

Smiley and I have found ourselves in a bit of a predicament. Our roles in the workplace have always been very clearly defined.  Don't tell the boss but it has always been Ant who actually does all the worky-type stuff. In reality, she's the one who's been running the department all this time while Smiley and I wander about the workplace looking cute - and we do that job very well.  Once we'd absorbed Ant's news, Smiley and I just stared open-mouthed at each other and basically wet our pants!!! (metaphorically speaking). I don't even know where the teachers' plastic bags are - or even what they're used for.  I've been asked for said bags on a few occasions and have simply followed Ant's pointing finger and looked like a star when I've handed them over.

I did make a pathetic attempt at a Mr Spock styled Mind Meld on Ant to try and gain access to all her knowledge and expertise. Somehow all that sought after information just didn't manage the transfer from her brain to mine. So I set up a clearfile.  Up until now we've had all of our "important stuff" stuffed in a pink clearfile with the name "Cherie Nicholls" written on the front in vivid. Nobody knows who this Cherie was or is but her clearfile has come in handy every now and then - even though I don't really know exactly what's in there.  So I set up a newclearfile. A blue one, which seems like a very professional colour.  My plan in the last few weeks of the year was to put all my knowledge into that blue file so that Smiley and I would be all set for this coming Tuesday. The blue file is practically bursting with...ummm...emptiness.  That was Plan A.

It looks like Smiley and I are going to have to go with Plan B.  When asked to do any task, we will smile, nod and confirm that it will be given top prioritory. Then if it doesn't work out, we'll look cute and blame Mr D. Everyone blames Mr D ever since he started nicking people's lunches from the staff fridge.

I think I might google Cherie Nicholls...